April 19, 2012
Richard Harvey put together this poem after our most recent Denali Prep Seminar on Mt. Rainier. Pretty cool stuff!
Enjoy the read.
Tye Chapman
Richard and Co. at The Flats on Mt. Rainier.
Hey, Where’s your Parka?
By Richard Harvey
As the moon came up and the sun went down
We eyed each other up and dreamt of the snow
Anxious but keen each went through their stuff
Name, rank and something interesting Tapp wanted to know
The guides stripped our bags of luxury and comfort
Even while the rental signature was still wet with ink
“Only take one pair of undies” he insisted without smiling
“When I’m finished with you, we’re all gonna stink”
So we crept in the bunkhouse and waited for dawn
The chill outside grew suddenly sharper
We hoped we were prepared but only time would tell
Some still received the drill “Hey, where’s your Parka?”
So we loaded the kit and took to the powder
The further we got the silence grew louder
To camp one we made haste grunting with sleds
Full of fuel “not with the food”, stoves, wands and who knows what chowder
That night we fed well on IMG’s marvels
We thought life is good, Denali’ll be easy
They set up two heads and the circus was pitched
It was then that the blue bags started to itch
Up the snowfield higher and higher
To Muir one step at a time
Breath getting shorter
We continued to climb
Ice Station Zebra came into view
Into the freezing pit we crawled
Unknowing that the next days
Even our toothpaste wouldn’t even get thawed
Patience slowly ebbed in that frozen wasteland
Zeus’s breath blew blizzards filling every crack and pit
We hunkered down and learnt of each others worlds
Some were sombre, others full of twisted wit
But we braved the elements and learnt the trade
Our masterful guides provided their best
Knots and anchors, crevasse rescue came next
And some of us received our first airborne arrests
On the nights when the wind blew white and relentless
Tapp’s steely eyes filled us with stories of terror and wonder
“On Denali Hexadecamethabiozanethanodiamox is the one you’ll need…”
We knew he was right when the Doctor silently agreed
Each day our clothes grew increasingly wet
No doubt these were the toughest guides we’d ever met
But the days of pain continued to get longer
And the howling winds grew hauntingly stronger
Day by day the toilet paper ran low
Some dreamt of frolicking ladies far below
During stories of Kashmir some tended feet beginning to swell
While the military guys made notes to take back to intel
And then Tapp gave the news
“Bring your clothes, every last one, we’re going for the top”
Adrenaline pumping, our nerves never sharper
We double checked out stuff “Hey, where’s your Parka?”
Predawn we crunched, traversing the ice
Except the more nervous, all silent as mice
But in the end the freezing, circling blizzard
And avalanche danger kicked our hopes in the gizzards
Back down we descended
Past Ingraham’s icy jaws and crevasses
The guides kept our spirits high with
Klemheists, Autoblocks and lashes
The Fahrenheit plummeted into the singles
Strangers came to give us their angles
We bonded playing cards late into the night
Citizen Cope warmed our hearts like a flicker of light
We knew things outside were getting bad
When Ershler was thwarted and our cookies turned back
So we hunkered down and shivered and shook
And wished that just one of us had bought a book
Then a hint of blue painted the zenith
We took to fixed lines and dug pits in the snow
And built a boys dream and all crammed in a snow cave
Smiling and happy, all dug with unbelievable gusto
And finally our bittersweet moment came to depart
To Paradise and showers and (thankfully) no more talk of South Park
We ran, slid and fell, just getting our way down
The guides skiing making us all look like clowns
As we spotted Tye we all started to grin
We knew that we’d made it and were close to the gin
Through the burgers, beers and our Copper Creek laughter
We could still here our leader’s echo calling
“Hey, where’s your Parka?”